Meet Becky, a freshman psych major from Northbrook who likes dancing and has a twin sister.

First class of the semester:

"Hello, this is Media Law & Ethics, in case you're in the wrong room."

[A couple students embarrassedly shuffle out.]

"So we can get to know each other, I'll have you turn to the person next to you and interview them. Then we'll go around the room and introduce our partners to the class!"

Next class:

"Welcome to Nutrition 250. What I'd like to do now is go around the room counter-clockwise starting with you in the back corner, yeah you. I'd like every person to tell the class their name, hometown, major, hobbies and interests, extra-curricular activities, favorite color, ethnicity, relationship status, who kissed you on New Year's Eve, how many CDs you own, your fears, your weaknesses, and one fun fact! Oh, and if you were a food, what food would you be, and why?"

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Don't professors ever get tired of that? All you education majors: Do they tell you that icebreaker exercises on the first day are an integral part of the school year? And if so, why can't you switch it up a little bit?

We actually did the "partner introduction" exercise twice, for the first two days of my math class. I wasn't having it, so on the second day I introduced myself. Again. I wasn't going to look around for some kid so I could hear more about how much they "love music" and want to become a psychologist upon graduation. I have a quota for how many silly people I can interact with in classes, and I had reached my limit for the day.

It's annoying, especially when people don't listen. One girl who "interviewed" me stood up and told the class, "Charlotte is a journalism major but she doesn't really want to get into writing." Uggggghh.

Granted, there is only so much one can do on the first couple days of classes, but come on. I'm in my fourth year of college and we're still doing these silly icebreakers that we've been doing since grade school. Maybe it's my own personal apathy, but I commute to school---meaning I drive the 20 minutes to class, take care of business, and get the hell out so I can go to work.

Plus, I can do without the luxury of having everyone on campus know your business and having to listen to drunk frat boys/soccer players/general douchebags have phone conversations like this: "No, bro. Listen, bro. Bro. Bro. I'm telling you, bro. She has huge tits, bro. You can totally fuck her, bro." (You can substitute "brah" for "bro" if you so desire.) I'd rather listen to nails on a chalkboard, 50 Cent's new album, or Condolleezza Rice. Excuse me if I spelled her name incorrectly.

I guess it doesn't help that I'm only now taking the introductory algebra class that I've put off since 2003, and 97% of the students in that class are freshmen. I haven't done real math since probably about 2001-02. Wish me luck. Numbers are probably the only things in the world that intimidate me.

Post-high school life has been fun for me thus far, though. I went to Northern Illinois University in 2003 and it was one of the best years of my life. I got along with my two roommates, I loved everyone on my floor, and it was great to be away from home. True, I slacked off, wasted money, and was an undeclared major, and yes, I gained weight, but I would never trade that year there for any other experience.

I took a year off, worked at Sam Ash Music, and then went to Harper College for a year with Allie, taking courses in business and marketing both on location and online. Commuting from Pilsen to Palatine three nights a week for three-hour classes was definitely not my cup of tea, but it was always fun and a great way for the two of us to see each other consistently after we both quit Scam Cash. Surprisingly, her and I were at the top of our classes despite our distracting natures, and judgmental attitude toward all the losers in our classes.

At some point during the year, Allie and I were both modeling in a print trade show but for different companies. She was working for Mitsubishi, and the guys she worked with invited us out to a company gathering at the Peninsula downtown. Her and I got all glammed up, acted like fabulous Samantha Jones businesswomen, mingled and drank cocktails with old corporate execs, and got pretty toasted all on Mitsubishi's tab.

At some point in the night I'm pretty sure her and I were wasted and rolling around on the plush carpeted floor of the ladies' room, literally. I vaguely recall a woman walking in while we're spread-eagle on the floor and not caring. Oh, to be young and idiotic.

One of the big honcho men got us a cab home. I foolishly tried to write a paper for my marketing telecourse at 1 a.m. (and it was due at midnight) while hammered, and Allie puked in Ben's bed. The next morning we barely got to the trade show on time, but when Allie came over to visit me at my booth, she realized she had dried vomit in her hair. We were really wonderful models that day. And it's pretty obvious that I did not finish the paper in time, but I came up with some wonderful excuse later and still got an A in the marketing class.

After some time passed and I had done my share of experimentation in different fields, I realized I really wanted to be a writer---and as far removed from Corporate America as possible. Therefore majoring in business was not for me.

I've had quite the adventures in my college days, but enough is enough. I finally lucked out enough to find a school that suits me well, education-wise, so I'm just gonna git 'er done and git' out.

As I said above, I am beyond ready to be done with this school business. First off, I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket here. If I blindly believed that obtaining a piece of paper that says "Charlotte has received a BA in journalism" on it would be my ONLY edge on becoming a reporter for Fox News or the Tribune, I would be a fool. And of course that's the last thing in the world I would want to do.

Anyway.

Secondly, I feel like I've been doing this forever. I'm in my fourth year, will graduate after five, and by that time it will have been six years after I finished high school. Bleh.

Third, what I really want to do does not depend on whether a degree, but it helps. Some courses I take will obviously help me "hone my skills" and put me in a higher income "bracket" if I so chose to take some corporate job, but I'm not looking to be a news reporter or go into teaching or graphic design---and I don't need to wait until graduation to take steps toward my career path of choice.

So maybe you can understand my jaded outlook on this whole higher education thing. I know I'm still young and have no reason to be so hasty. I know people years older than me that have graduated from college, but not much has changed over the course of their lives. Same goes for some people who never went to school. I also know a couple people with well-paying jobs, but their careers are completely unrelated to their college majors. I know people in their thirties working toward bachelor's degrees.

It's unnecessary for me to be anxious, but working in restaurants and bartending gets old kind of fast...even though I do enjoy some aspects of the hospitality industry. And I believe I'm on the right track working with Sue Storm...if she ever decides to fly back home with the Angels...which will be never.

I really believe timing is everything. Not very many things happen for people without considerable effort, so I'll take the speed bumps in stride and trust that my muffler system falling out of my car will build more character in the long run. Ha! Literally.

The function of this universe is not to make us happy and give us fair, favorable outcomes. It takes that positive energy from the individual to become something bigger, despite circumstances. Someday you'll see my name in bookstores. I've been talking to people in the publishing industry and I'm hearing that the direction I've been taking is really in demand these days.


Until then, I'll be hitting the $150 textbooks...and telling classmates that are four years my junior about Kelly from Highland Park who loves shopping, drives a Lexus, and might major in either photography or theatre.

The Facts of Life.

Work.

"My baby takes the morning train / he works from nine 'til five and then
He takes another home again / to find me waitin' for him."
-Sheena Easton, "My Baby Takes The Morning Train"

The 9 to 5. Corporate clowns. Cash cows. Dorky uniforms. Business casual. Gross salaries. Hourly pay rates. The water cooler. Rush hour commutes. All of these terms are affiliated with the work force; something that the majority of the country's adult population (and those teenagers who can furnish work permits) is familiar with.

For some, work is an obligation for basic survival: an after-school responsibility at a restaurant or a retail shop where they punch in at a timeclock, wear a name badge and some sort of uniform, receive hourly pay and/or tips, and use their earnings to pay for rent, bills, and food. For others, work is a more than a job, it's a career. It could be for a big corporate company, or it could be self-employment in one's small business. It could be entertaining crowds or writing screenplays, or it could be managing others at a restaurant or retail store. Yet for others, work is simply a part-time chore, endured only for money to buy booze on the weekends and supplement parental support. Some people work because it's their passion. Others work to take care of basic necessities. To survive and thrive in this capitalist economy that is the United States, one must have some sort of income, and that generally comes from working. The bottom line is: work = money = survival.

Many people start off working menial jobs for minimum wage when in their mid to late teen years. Sometimes it's by choice, other times it's by pressure from the parental units. My first job was at 16 at a place called Lakeshore Learning Store, a teacher supply shop that was across the street from my apartment complex. I didn't choose to work there because I was interested in the behind-the-scenes of classroom decoration, nor was I enticed by the Kidz Bop and Sugar Beats CDs that were in constant rotation. I started working because I was tired of begging my parents for money, and I could walk there! After that three-month stint, other endeavors included the cashier gig at Jewel, the customer service desk hottie girl at Sam Ash Music, and serving and bartending in countless restaurants, bars, and sports stadiums.

Several people my age have similar work histories on their resumes as well. Working crap jobs is a part of life. They pay the bills when you move away from home and into the mean world of city stickers, ORD citations, car insurance, and [insert utility here] bills. I'm not gonna lie: I am beyond ready to stop making $4.20 per hour + tips and move on to my career path of choice, and I'm sure many students would agree. But until I achieve that wonderful piece of paper that says, "Charlotte has shelled out thousands of dollars, written countless papers, and spent 4+ years learning how to report and write well" (in so many words), dealing with drunken imbeciles and poor tippers will have to do.

I do envy people that have careers, or what I would call "cool jobs." One of my best friends, who has been in bands since he was 12 years old, recently got signed to a powerful record label at the age of 25. Another girl I know of the same age is now earning six figures after climbing the ladder at a company she discovered on craigslist.com---and the job is completely unrelated to her majors at Purdue. At the DMV a couple weeks ago I had such a good laugh with the cashier and vision screener that I actually imagined having a good time if I worked there. A former coworker of mine started her own company and no longer has to answer to "the man!" I do currently have a pretty fun job working with an author (in addition to my three other sources of income), which is somewhat a good step in the direction of my desired career. I get to write, edit, research, accompany her to Whole Foods and the car wash occasionally, and listen to her family drama. I have learned that I can definitely write and publish books in the future, and that writers are neurotic...probably myself included.

Work can mean many different things to the individual. Sometimes it is what one does to make ends meet and provide for the family, other times work entails getting paid to do what one loves. It could be a combination of both, or somewhere in the middle. Companies need people to exude labor and increase profits, and people need to make a living, however meager, lest they end up panhandling under El stops or at intersections. Work can be enjoyable or stressful, lucrative or barely cutting it, a painful last resort or the job of your American dream---or any combination thereof. Whatever it means to the individual, work is a part of live and necessary for survival.



Leisure.

The word "leisure" is derived from the Latin word licere, meaning "to be permitted/free," according the the word's entry in Wikipedia. While some people are fortunate to have careers that they enjoy, it is still important "to be free" and draw the line between work and play---lest one's job becomes an all-encompassing, life-engulfing burden. Leisure can be passive: lounging in the sun, taking a drive, reading, watching T.V., or listening to music. On the other hand, leisure can be active: working out, playing sports, engaging in games of skill, or creating art. The common thread is that "1) The experience is a state of mind. 2) It must be entered into voluntarily. 3) It must be intrinsically motivating of its own merit" (Wikipedia).

I see leisure as being a way to spend time doing things that are not work: free time, and fun time, and not labor time. Of course it means different things to different people, but I think the general consensus is that leisure is essentially time to do what you please, without stress or obligation.

Some people incorporate leisure with work, however, and sometimes what is considered leisure for one could be labor for another. Someone with a green thumb may enjoy pulling weeds and planting seeds during their free time, while yard/garden work may be a job for another person. I someday hope that writing will be my full-time, lucrative job, but I also associate writing as something fun---as you may have noticed by my excessively long first essay.



Technology.

Technology in America has a very wide-reaching range, is very versatile, and always evolving. One might associate technology with gadgets, high-tech machines, and this digital age we live in, but essentially, technology is how a society utilizes the materials available in their particular civilization. Things such as the wheel, the sundial, or the paleolithic spear are considered "simple" today, but upon their inceptions they were revolutionary. Today we have wireless fidelity blanketed across cities, mp3 players that have rendered the Discman obsolete, sleek cell phones the size of your thumbnail, and laptops that weigh four pounds.

It can be a wonderful thing, but at the same time technology can be detrimental if looked at from another perspective. Online social networks such as MySpace result in diminishing person-to-person real life intimacy. Relationships end and people quit jobs via text message. Increased scientific studies and research provide drugs and antibiotics that may "work wonders" for any ailment you can think of (Restless Leg Syndrome?), but more diseases, resilient viruses, deathly side-effects, and resistant bacteria are being discovered daily it seems.

While work and leisure are two different things, they aren't 100% distinct from each other, and there isn't a red line drawn between the two. Technology is something that relates to both work and leisure. One might say that while work and leisure are (not completely polar) opposites, technology is one thing that bridges the two. At work, technology is rampant. Restaurant servers can electronically take orders that go directly to the kitchen and print receipts rather than the person scribbling a bill on a piece of paper. A lot of people work via computer all day. Corporations can hold conferences simultaneously with their other office locations across the globe. Some people have jobs that require them to have both a cell phone and a BlackBerry.

Technology plays a big role in leisure as well. You can kick back with your iPod and listen to hours of music on a tiny device. People who enjoy running can now wear a pedometer that measures the distance traveled and give other vital stats. Apple and Nike collaborated to combine the two: an iPod that works in conjunction with a device in special Nike shoes. It picks suitable songs for your jogging speed, among doing other wondrous things. People that enjoy writing poetry or taking photographs in their free time can share their mindless musings and creative artworks with millions of people on the Internet.

Were things better when life was "simple" and we had to get up to turn the dial on the TV and weren't aware of the 6000 different kinds of bacteria growing in our kitchen sinks...or the dust mites crawling in our pillows at night? Or are we much better off with better-performing cars, multiple methods of communication, and antibacterial multi-surface cleaning products? One cannot say with certainty that one is better than another, but technology sure has come a long way and our work, leisure, and general lifestyles have been greatly affected by its advancements.



Leisure. (2007, September 4). In Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Retrieved 06:13, September 10, 2007, from http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Leisure&oldid=155572324

Dead Puppies, Please.

I am a woman who does not like flowers.

I mean, I appreciate them. They're pretty, smell nice, and can add a splash of color and character to a room—but don't buy them for me.

In high school, my witty math teacher told us that he'd never buy flowers for his longtime girlfriend. Cue all the girls: "Aw! Mr. Campbell! Why?"

His response was always, "Because they DIE! They are DEAD! Why would I give someone I love something DEAD? I may as well give her dead puppies! They're cute, too, until they start to decompose! Like flowers!"

We were all appalled.

The thing is—I agree with him, now that I'm older and in a serious relationship. Not necessarily because of the fact that flowers are dead and dying, but because I'd much rather have something of lasting value. I guess the two could be construed as the same reason.

When I was in high school and a cashier at Jewel, flowers were relatively inexpensive until February rolled around, then BAM! The price jumped to $21.78 for a dozen basic roses. Dead roses, might I add. This was Jewel; imagine going to the local florist! And we sold many, many bouquets. Any other time of year, they'd be approximately $9.99, but of course the guys can't do anything like buy flowers in advance, because guess what? THEY DIE!

Back in my teen years I loved getting flowers from my high school sweethearts. But since I never owned any nice vases (we weren't a flower-y family); the bouquets just ended up sitting in my room, crumbling, and eventually breaking into a thousand tiny pieces on my dresser and carpet, creating more cleanup work than necessary, and Lord knows I was not the cleaning kind. I thought I LOVED getting flowers, but then again I also LOVED my immature boyfriend and thought we were going to eventually get married. I was 16, mind you.

Today, I personally would rather have my significant other use those 20 buckaroos toward something more worthwhile. It could really be anything—just not something I throw in the trash four days later. If he's hell-bent on getting me something botanical, I would suggest a potted plant that actually has a chance at life. Then again, living with me, it probably wouldn't have a chance. When I was a child, my virtual pets like the Nano Babies and Giga Pets always died within a day or two after I got bored. Thank God I don't have any animals nor children now.

Remember in high school around Valentine's Day and the Homecoming and Turnabout dances when you could send flowers to your friends? Girls would walk through the halls, arms full of 20 or more carnations, and they were sooo special and sooo popular and loved! Note: this isn't jealousy speaking—I got a few flowers here and there. Not often from boys, but so what? Okay, maybe I was a little jealous, but that was back then. Anyhow, these girls were carrying around piles of these poor dead cheap $1 flowers and thinking they were hot shit. Really, they were more like cold diarrhea.

I won't go too into it, but I feel similarly about diamonds. I don't expect to get any diamond earrings or bracelets, and if I did, I'd kick my boyfriend's ass and tell him to return them. Honestly. But even when it comes to things like engagement and wedding rings, I would prefer the person doing the proposing to not spend five grand on a ring. I know women who have $20,000 rings. WHY? First off, women should realize that having an expensive ring is not relative to the "amount" that your man loves you. Second, even if my fiancé-to-be was loaded, I would much rather have them put that into a down payment on a house, or future children's college funds or bonds for retirement. Don't get me wrong--I want a pretty ring, yes, but the future can't be ignored. I'd probably lose the piece of jewelry anyway, seriously. And that would be like flushing a $10,000 bill down the toilet. Not cool.

Essentially, buying flowers for someone is like giving them a $20 bill to look at for half a week then throw it away. I can't even imagine why people spend $50 on elaborate, massive floral arrangements. I suppose I'm just a practical sort of girl. Even food is more worth it to me, because at least I consume it! I'm not a chocolate fiend either, so Valentine's Day is pretty easy--essentially null and void in the Hallmark sense of the holiday. If you insist on spending money on me, do something practical! Fill up my gas tank, pay for my college textbooks, or give me a gift certificate to Steve Madden or Victoria's Secret. That way I can get around, look cute, and not have to worry about hauling the vacuum cleaner up to my room when the dead roses disintegrate all over my bedroom. I'd much rather take easier-to-dispose-of dead puppies.

'Cause Lord knows I'm not the cleaning type.

-11.06.06